


The Joys Of Normal Living

by HPFandom_archivist



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Drama, Explicit Language, Humor, M/M, Parody, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Romance, Sexual Content, Tragedy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-04-22
Updated: 2007-04-21
Packaged: 2018-10-01 13:08:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,459
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10190567
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HPFandom_archivist/pseuds/HPFandom_archivist
Summary: A series of drabbles about Harry and Draco, written for the DracoHarry100 community on LiveJournal.





	1. Weekly Competition

**Author's Note:**

> Note from SeparatriX, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [HP Fandom](http://fanlore.org/wiki/HP_Fandom_\(archive\)), which was closed for health and financial reasons. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in August 2016. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [HP Fandom collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/hpfandom/profile).

**Title** \- Weekly Competition  
 **Author** \- SoftlySweetly  
 **Word Count** \- 100 x 4  
 **Rating** \- NC17  
 **Warnings** \- Vague rimming, slash, cussing  
 **Characters/Pairings** \- I'll give you three guesses…   
**Challenge** \- #15 'The Sunday Papers'  
 **Author's Notes** \- Fourth in the [Joys Of Normal Living](http://softly-sweetly.livejournal.com/tag/joys+of+normal+living+series) series

 

 

Harry was woken up by the thus of the paper hitting the door mat, and he groped around for his glasses, shoving them on and running a hand through his hair in lip-service to tidying it up. He yanked on his pyjama bottoms and moved silently down the stairs to get the paper. He could hear Draco clunking around the kitchen, and smirked as he took the heavy Sunday paper and went back to bed; it was a game between them as to who got to the papers first, and Harry was pleased that he'd won this week without cheating.

 

~~~~~~~~~~

 

Draco caught sight of Harry disappearing back up the stairs and rolled his eyes. The Gryffindor was such a child sometimes; yet accused Draco of being the competitive one. Shaking his head softly, the blonde returned to his coffee and finished the cup, putting a stasis charm on the rest of the pot and murmuring a breath-freshening charm. Harry could read the papers, but Draco wasn't going to let that disrupt his plans for Sunday morning sex.

Running a hand through his mussed hair, Draco headed up the stairs to their bedroom with a predatory, lust-filled grin on his face.

 

~~~~~~~~~~

 

Harry was sat cross-legged, the papers spread around him and lost in an article when Draco came in. He looked up, expecting to see coffee, and gasped at the look on Draco's face. "I'll…uh…move the papers."

Draco shook his head and climbed onto the bed behind Harry. "No you won't. You're going to pick an article and read to me."

Harry whined as he was moved into position on his hands and knees over the broadsheet. Draco pulled his pyjama bottoms off, and pushed Harry's down his thighs, muttering "Get reading then", before plunging his tongue inside Harry's clenching hole.

 

~~~~~~~~~~

 

_"…the police are…oh fucking god's Draco please!"_

Draco smirked, pulling his tongue out and shifting to bury himself inside Harry. He jacked his hips hard and fast as Harry writhed on the bed, the paper scattered everywhere. His lover was shrieking with pleasure, and Draco moved a hand to fist Harry in counter-point to his thrusts. He felt the brunette tensing rhythmically before exploding, dragging Draco over the edge with him.

They collapsed to the side of the semen-stained paper, and Draco held Harry tightly. "I might let you get the paper first next week too."

"I'll hold you to that, Love."


	2. Happy Birthday

**Title** \- Happy Birthday  
 **Author** \- SoftlySweetly  
 **Word Count** \- 100 x 8  
 **Rating** \- NC17  
 **Warnings** \- Cussing, Sex, Idiot!Seamus  
 **Characters/Pairings** \- I'll give you three guesses…   
**Challenge** \- #16 'Fruit'  
 **Author's Notes** \- Fifth in the [Joys Of Normal Living](http://softly-sweetly.livejournal.com/tag/joys+of+normal+living+series) series

**Second Note** – This story needed an antagonist, and Seamus got it. His comments are made simply for the purposes of the story, and are not meant to cause any offence.

 

 

Harry smirked as he wrapped his arms around Draco's waist. "What you cookin', good lookin'?"

Draco grinned and leant back into Harry's arms, enjoying the feel of the two of them together. "I'm making authentic Irish stew."

"You're really going to a lot of trouble."

"Well, you said you wanted a quiet dinner with friends for your birthday, but I'm still going to make the effort, and I know Seamus likes it."

Harry smiled, and placed a kiss on Draco's neck. "I'm glad of whatever I did to deserve you."

"So you bloody should be. Now go and get changed."

 

~~~~~~~~~~

 

Draco finally relaxed as everyone tucked into the desserts he'd made, and Harry's birthday cake. The damn cake was a work of art, and he'd banished Harry from the kitchen for the day while he made it, only letting him back in when it was under a disillusionment charm. Draco had made the cake in the shape of a Firebolt, and iced it to show the details of each twig. It had been hard, hard work, but the look on Harry's face when it was brought out, twenty-six candles flickering in the room, had been worth every bit of effort.

 

~~~~~~~~~~

 

The alcohol was flowing freely; they'd been doing tequila slammers for an hour. Seamus especially was getting very loose with his tongue, and was currently explaining to everyone why the Irish were just a better class of people. Draco couldn't believe that the boy was getting away with what he was saying, but reasoned that everyone else was so drunk that they wouldn't remember in the morning. 

"That's another thing! The Irish don't have any fucking fruits! You can tell Malfoy's not Irish, he's a fucking fruit!"

Harry's head snapped up, and he hissed dangerously. " _What_ did you just say?"

 

~~~~~~~~~~

 

The silence was deadly, and Seamus hiccoughed before belching loudly. "Fruit. You know – takes it. Irish are men, we give it. Fruits are the girly partners."

Harry's eyes flashed, and he stood up, remarkably steady on his feet. "Who the hell are you to speak about Draco like that?"

Seamus shrugged. "Just telling it like it is. He's a damn fruit. Nothing to worry about, someone's gotta be."

"Get the fuck out of my house."

"Harry, mate…"

" **Get the fuck out of my house!** "

Seamus looked stunned, and Harry turned around and slammed out of the living room.

 

~~~~~~~~~~

 

"I didn't mean…"

Draco pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed. "Just shut up, Finnegan. You're exceptionally narrow-minded when you are drunk."

"I just meant…"

"Shut up! It's Harry's birthday and you're trash-talking. Just go home, sober up, and apologise in the morning. You have no right to come into our home and tell us that Bottoms are girly, imply that they're weak. Goddamn heterosexual, thinking you're normal and we're naughty little deviants. You have no right to make that assessment, now get out."

Draco waited until everyone had left before going to find Harry and console his lover…

 

~~~~~~~~~~

 

"Harry, baby, you in here?"

Draco pushed open the bedroom door and was rather clumsily pounced on. Harry's hands were all over him, ripping at his clothes, and he could taste salt on the brunette's lips. "Harry, please…"

Harry groaned and pulled away. He was so angry that crying was the only choice he had right now. "I'm not **FUCKING WEAK**! Fucking Seamus!"

"I know but Harry, love you're drunk and…"

Draco was cut off as Harry's lips slammed against his, all teeth and aggression and anger. He couldn't stop himself getting aroused at such dominance from his usually-laid-back lover.

 

~~~~~~~~~~

 

Harry pushed Draco to the bed and clumsily cuffed his hands to the bedpost, yanking Draco's jeans down and ripping his shirt open. He ripped off his own clothes, knowing through the drunken haze that he wasn't weak and had to prove it. 

Draco had the good sense to mutter a quick lubrication and stretching charm as Harry climbed on top of him, grabbing his cock and stroking him to full hardness before impaling himself on Draco's erection swiftly.

Draco cursed as he was engulfed in Harry's heat, so tight around him, and the brunette began a dizzying, pounding pace.

 

~~~~~~~~~~

 

When Harry climbed out of bed in the morning there was a basket of muffins in the kitchen next to Draco, who was making coffee. He walked over gingerly, kissing Draco softly on the cheek before taking the card attached to the basket.

_I was out of line last night, talking about something I don't understand. Apologies, Seamus_

Harry tossed the card on the counter and leant into Draco's embrace. "You going to forgive him, Harry?"

"Yeah. Once I've explained _exactly_ how I know bottoms aren't weak, and that fruit isn't an insult, and can be useful in bed if it's the right shape!"


	3. Fear

**Title** \- Fear  
 **Author** \- SoftlySweetly  
 **Word Count** \- 100 x 11  
 **Rating** \- NC17  
 **Warnings** \- Major Angst, Bad Language, Slash Sex, Evil!Fruit  
 **Characters/Pairings** \- I'll give you three guesses…   
**Challenge** \- #16 'Fruit'  
 **Author's Notes** \- Sixth in the [Joys Of Normal Living](http://softly-sweetly.livejournal.com/tag/joys+of+normal+living+series) series

 

Harry hummed happily as Draco's tongue traced up and down his thigh, painting invisible little designs on his skin with skill and precision. Ever since the incident with Seamus at his birthday the blonde had been especially attentive. He'd also developed a fascination with fruit that Harry couldn't quite fathom out. Not that he was complaining, mind. It was decadent, trussed up to the headboard being fed bites of exotic fruits by a boyfriend who couldn't seem to keep his hand off your cock. As Draco's lips descended on his for a kiss, he passed sweet liquid into Harry's mouth.

 

~~~~~~~~~~

 

Harry felt the sweet burn of cherry brandy and swallowed greedily, pushing his tongue into Draco's mouth and lapping up the taste of Draco and alcohol like it was his last meal. Harry hummed in appreciation when Draco pulled back, and smiled at the blonde. "Tastes good."

"I bet. Spread your legs."

Harry obliged, squirming a little as Draco added some more lube to his already-stretched hole. They'd been at it all afternoon, sometimes fast and hard, sometimes slow, and the tube of passion fruit lubricant was half empty already, even though Draco had only brought it home this morning.

 

~~~~~~~~~~

 

Draco knew from previous activities that the lubricant tasted exquisite on Harry, but his body was demanding that they skip any more foreplay and get straight to the sex. As Draco lined up with Harry his peripheral vision picked up the mess the room was in. Sex had started in the kitchen and moved messily to the bed, leaving a trail of fruit and Harry's spunk that played testament to their journey. Draco would have to cast a cleaning charm once they were finished. 

Shaking his mind free of such mundane thoughts, Draco thrust into Harry with ease and force.

 

~~~~~~~~~~

 

Draco was careful to collapse to the side of Harry's messy body, lying on the expensive (and completely ruined) Egyptian sheets and breathing deeply. "That was…"

"I know."

They lay in companionable, satiated silence, and Draco was content to just fall asleep until Harry's foot banged against his calf. He cracked one eye open and looked at Harry. "What?"

"Untie me please, I need a drink of water."

Draco nodded, undoing the silk ties and watching as Harry stretched and climbed off the bed. "You want anything Draco?"

"Just you back here soon as."

Harry smiled, heading to the hallway

 

~~~~~~~~~~

 

Draco saw the patch of raspberry mush a split second before Harry stepped on it. "Harry watch out!"

He was too late, and as Harry turned to see what Draco was yelling about he stepped in the mushy fruit. Coupled with the polished wood flooring of their hallway, Harry's balance was stolen from him and his arms spun for a moment as he tried to get his balance and failed, skidding along the floor and falling all his length. 

Draco began to laugh, it had been funny to watch, but then Harry didn't get back up again, didn't even move…

 

~~~~~~~~~~

 

Draco sprang out of bed and shot to Harry's side. "Harry?"

There was no response, and Draco knelt on the floor and cradled Harry's head. The brunette didn't respond, and as Draco ran his hands over Harry's hair he felt something wet. Pulling his hand back he found his fingers dripping red, and blanched at the sight. Panic set in, but rationality kept a hold on him just about. Draco grabbed some clothes and got dressed, spelling a set of pyjamas onto Harry before casting a spell to keep his body stable. Fighting back tears, Draco ran to the floo

 

~~~~~~~~~~

 

When Harry cracked his eyes open he wasn't in his bedroom. Hell, he wasn't even in his house. For a moment, he thought he was in the Infirmary at Hogwarts, but that didn't make sense. He wasn't at Hogwarts any more. When he tried to turn his head pain lanced through his body, and Harry groaned with pain. 

Draco had been pacing near the window, but when he heard Harry groan he headed back to the bed in a flash. "Harry?"

"Draco? What…happened?"

"You…gods…"

Draco's voice trailed off and he buried his face against Harry's arm. "I was so scared."

 

~~~~~~~~~~

 

Harry couldn't help but snicker. Draco hadn't cried, but his eyes were suspiciously shiny as he glared at Harry. "What the _hell_ is so funny?"

"You brought me to St. Mungo's for a bump on the head."

Draco watched Harry laughing at him and glared again. "I'm glad you find this funny."

"Draco…you've got to admit…"

"Got to admit what? Got to admit that you hit the damn floor and didn’t move and it was like watching you on that battle field all over again? I was fucking scared, Harry, but I'm glad you get a kick out of that!"

 

~~~~~~~~~~

 

Harry slunk into the kitchen and found Draco chopping at an apple with savage viciousness. The blonde hadn't said one word to him since he'd been cleared to leave Mungo's and given a pain-relief potion for his headache. "Draco?"

Silence.

"Draco I didn’t…I wasn't laughing at you. It…I'm so clumsy, and I'm always okay afterwards. It was just a bump on the head. I love that you were so worried about me, and I didn't mean to upset you. But you know me Draco; I regularly go arse over tits and I'm always okay afterwards."

"One day you won't be."

 

~~~~~~~~~~

 

Draco turned around and held Harry's eyes. "That bloody raspberry mush, I thought it was blood. Harry you were unconscious, and I thought you were bleeding, and I was scared. Now, tonight, is the time to laugh at my idiocy. But sat next to your unconscious form in St Mungo's again…I can't laugh in that situation, I'm not ready to laugh about it yet."

Harry moved carefully to envelope Draco in his arms. "I'm sorry. I know it was bad for you, but I never meant to scare you. I just had to stop him."

"I could have lost you."

 

~~~~~~~~~~

 

Harry held Draco tighter, knowing that neither of them had meant the afternoon's events. He pressed a kiss to Draco's neck and pulled away a little to meet stormy grey eyes. "What did you tell them, about how it happened?"

"I said you slipped on the rug and hit your head on the floorboards. Even distraught, I knew better than to mention the fruit and the sex and the debauchery."

Harry laughed, and placed a kiss on Draco's nose. "Is there any cheese to go with that apple?"

"Some."

"Okay, you cut them; I'll find us a movie to watch."


End file.
